Tech Support Girl

This blog was created because i needed a space to vent the reactions provoked by my job - technical support of certain software by e-mail. Sometimes people ask such questions that I really would like to say a couple of “very warm” words but I can’t! Yet it’s very difficult to keep it to myself.

Many of those things I also believe will be funny for technically literate people.

And I intend to include with the “sincere” reply the one that was actually sent. So perhaps this blog can also serve as a learning tool for myself and perhaps for someone else with the same problems! =))
Fri Jul 10

I am an idiot, help me please!

CUSTOMER:

I have a wrong code. I entered wrong [HardwareID], so I requested a change but the code is wrong anyway. Help me please.

ME:

[standard instructions allowing to solve 100% wrong code errors - and the reason always is on user’s end the way those codes work]

CUSTOMER:

My HardwareID is [HardwareID].

ME:

This is the same HardwareID you are registered with
The code for it is: [code]
And you must enter your e-mail [email]

If it doesn’t work follow Instructions given earlier and report on each point.
Those instructions actually allow to solve 100% of wrong code cases!
You asked for help, we give it as instructions.

We can’t do it for you, you must do it yourself.
There is nothing complicated.

If you don’t understand something in them, you can ask us, but we must warn you that it’s end of day Friday, we will not be able to reply you again until Monday. This was your choice to not use our instructions at once. We can send it to you one by one if you want, one item per day? Ask you each time if you did what we told you to solve the problem? Fine, we can do that. Or you can do a little effort and checkthose simple instructions one by one. We will even dumb it down more:
[repeating instructions simplified initially for non-English speakers]

The code IS correct for the given HardwareID and e-mail, if you downloaded the software at the indicated location and turned off the predictive text in settings as instructed.

If you are unable to find a mistake we expect a screenshot from you as instructed at the end of our previous e-mail to you.